


Dénouement

by ginafics



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Blood and Injury, Character Death, Fluff and Angst, Heavy Angst, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Multiverse, Parallel Universes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-16
Updated: 2019-07-16
Packaged: 2020-06-23 21:16:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19709614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ginafics/pseuds/ginafics
Summary: Dénouement (French)/ˌdeɪˈnuːmɒ̃/(n.) The resolution of a narrative.Everytime Taeyong dies in front of him, Johnny goes to another universe to find Taeyong again.





	Dénouement

**Author's Note:**

> now that this fic is revealed, i want to thank the absolute gem, Niva, for making this fic readable to all of you.
> 
> also thank you for the enrara mods for being the reason that this fic exists in the first place!!
> 
> i want to thank every single one of you who had given this fic a chance, and staying for the painful journey, and for all of your lovely comments!!! god knows how many tears i've shed because of those lovely lovely comments!! thank you so much!! also for the prompter, i must thank you once more!
> 
> now without further adieu, please enjoy!
> 
> TW //  
> blood (a lot of it), injuries, angst (lots of it), death (a recurring theme seriously), there's a small amount of sexual content somewhere in the middle
> 
> if any of these themes might trigger you or bring you discomfort, then please always take precautions before reading this story!

**_"Life could be horrible in the wrong trouser of time."_**

**_–Terry Pratchett._ **

_It isn't supposed to happen this way. They have planned and formulated, scraping the formula and changing it for months. They have calculated and recalculated; doubting, reanalyzing, again and again and again —they have thought of every possibility and avoided every single one in which would result in failure. No, Johnny has thought, it is supposed to go in every way besides this utter chaos. The lab—their lab is in shambles. His staff is in a state of controlled panic, running briskly from one monitor to another while shouting data, status, and statistics. The alarm is blaring deafeningly above Johnny's head. All of the lab's CCTVs are being displayed in the gigantic display monitor in front of him; all the chambers blare the same deafening alarm, almost all of them are empty but one. The numbers that keep beeping on the computer in front of Johnny should most certainly be regarded as dangerous. The sudden half panic shouts from Mark should also be considered important. Then again Johnny's focus is solely spent onto the lab's lower ground, where the core of their mistake resides, where there's a leak of radiation from the damn explosion, where his sole purpose of creating this entire disaster exists, moving, talking–breathing._

🌹

Johnny opens his eyes to an unknown room, head pounding as his brain is assaulted with the onslaught of memories. _He's Johnny Seo, 23 years old, a graduate student._ Huh, pretty anticlimactic, he supposed. The pounding behind his eyes resides after a while and he feels himself relaxing back to the bed, once his brain is sure he doesn't have any class any time soon. Relaxing has been going pretty well until he belatedly realizes the numbing dead weight on his left forearm.

"Good morning, Youngho. Your heartbeat picks up pretty high what's up?" Doyoung's cheerful voice fills his head from the radio chip they planted within his head a few years ago. Johnny rolls his eyes at the blatant mockery and ignores the call out, opting to take a look at his left side instead. An involuntary relief sigh escapes him at the glorious sight. _Lee Taeyong._

Johnny slowly turns and faces the sleeping boy, once again doing the ritual of mapping the details of his better half, committing them to his memory. Taeyong has always been beautiful, _so very beautiful_ , perhaps even the prettiest man Johnny has ever landed his eyes on. And he can vouch for it now that his arguments are credible enough; after all, he's the only one who has been through many worlds. Johnny has always loved Taeyong's sleeping face; he loves the way it relaxes and erases all the tension lines from Taeyong's forehead, he loves how Taeyong's baby pink lips are always in a small pout by default, he loves the way his eyelids flutter a little bit as dreams unravel behind them. He runs his fingers gingerly, gently in between the now deep honey-colored strands—unable to stop himself from touching, from once again falling. No one blames him though; no one has the right to, not when Johnny is the only one with numbered days— _hours_ if he's running out of luck.

"You're staring." The mumbled words stumble out of Taeyong, as he moves and snuggles closer to bury his face in Johnny's chest. Johnny can't help but wrap his arms tighter around the smaller figure and lays him across his chest as he lies on his back. The desire to feel the steady beat of his heart, to count his even breathing, is almost overwhelming. He leans down to kiss the crown of Taeyong's head and lingers for a second longer. _Coconut._

That makes Taeyong look up at Johnny with concern swimming in his eyes and the familiar crease adorning the space between his brows. "Are you okay, baby?"

Johnny doesn't know whether he wants to coo at how cute Taeyong is or to bolt the fuck out of there to see _his_ Taeyong and squish the life out of him— _ah, a ridiculous notion, sorry._ And so Johnny plasters his most relaxed smile and hums contently, his thumb coming up to ease the crease on his lover's forehead. "Yeah, I just…" and he stops. Of course, how else he can get his romantic title if he doesn't do dramatic ellipsis— _he hesitates, even after two years, he always hesitates. This is not his Taeyong after all._ "…I love you. I just love you. So much." And the grin he receives from the other always makes him wonder why he hesitated so much in the first place. The familiar happy smile is the only thing he ever wants to see on Taeyong's face anyway— _hollow eyes, track of_ —. And if professing his love is the answer, he'll work on not hesitating ever again.

"I love you too. Wait, no, my feelings don’t entail your feelings. I just love you, in my own way, so much. Just as much." And Johnny smiles genuinely because he believes Taeyong, no matter in what universe they are in.

"Johnny?" Taeyong had started that morning. It was Day 21, Johnny had been counting—running away from the trepidation that keeps creeping in. _Hollow eyes, track of tears, unrestrained leak of crimson._

"Yes, babe?" Johnny basked in the way the red hue—baby pink, never crimson, that adorns Taeyong's cheeks. The nickname always got to him whether it had been three years or three weeks.

"Study date tonight? The finals are in two weeks…"

"Of course, sweetheart."

Johnny had to laugh bitterly that night, reprimanding himself to ever imagine— _even worse, to ever hope_ —that a romantic study date on the library is not merely wishful thinking. Taeyong had looked ethereal— _empty_ , with his head being pillowed by Johnny's lap, the subtle glow in his honey-toned hair making it look like a halo. _Hollow obsidian eyes, tears still clinging to his eyelids, small faucet letting melted petals of roses kiss the cold black asphalt._ _Another red rose be defeated upon the swift cut of a knife._ This time a stray thief, a random burst of anger, a sudden stab on his left pectoral.

"Will it ever wear off?" Johnny asks no one in particular as he locks himself inside the now empty apartment bathroom. His hands attempt to remove the red stain under running water. Johnny knows it never really wears off, little by little only amounting under his nails, a reminder of how many times he had lost—23. An answer comes anyway.

"The blood?" Mark's voice fills his head.

"No." Johnny's breath is shaky when he exhales. "Just… everything." The silence that follows is awfully deafening until Doyoung's voice fills his head. He sounds defeated, Johnny thinks.

"Eventually." The line goes static right before Johnny's first sob.

 _Cruel, Love is cruel_.

🌹

_"Johnny hyung! Fire!" Hyuck's words are the first thing that mobilizes Johnny's body out of its stupor. The cogs within his brain have started calculating the damage they're going to have to put up with if the fire couldn't be controlled. Disaster, monumental disaster. Perhaps Chernobyl's level of disaster. And maybe the whole city is the only thing that can exceed the priority of his lover's safety. Johnny's eyes scan the monitor for the fire—cam 13, a floor right above the lab's lower ground, next to the room where they stored their highly confidential substances and probably some more common flammable gasses._

_Johnny has never run as fast as he did that day._

🌹

When Johnny opens his eyes there's a big, professional room right in front of him. Seo Youngho, the 34 year old CEO of one of the most elite corporations in Korea. Johnny almost scoffs, oh so now he's _filthy_ rich. He looks up at the clock nailed on the wall at his right side. It's late, like 2 a.m. late, and he wonders if this is the type of life CEO Seo is leading—the rich, unhealthy, hiding within his office for days on end type. The small blue post-it that is currently staring at him in the face gives him a general idea.

_"Stop doing this to yourself. Go home. Don't forget you have to meet the new PA I chose tomorrow. Sorry for resigning, boss man." -Jungwoo._

Johnny sighs, perhaps this would be one of those universes where Johnny would have the opportunity to stay longer and spend a longer time with the love of his life—the longest had been 3 months so far. He wonders what Taeyong is do— _oh_. Time suddenly halts Johnny's movement and he forces himself to ransack his brain for one specific picture, one specific name, one specific smile.

"Oh shit." Johnny finally hits his face to the cold surface of his glass table.

"What is it, boss man?" Hyuck's voice filters in through his head.

"Taeyong."

"Spill it out, Suh." Doyoung's tensed voice takes over.

"He's not here, yet, Doie. He's not in the picture yet. CEO Seo Youngho, age 34, hasn't met Lee Taeyong in his life, yet."

The silence that follows is heavy. Johnny wants to laugh at the absurdity of the situation because he has a whole functioning team back home at Earth who managed to build a fully functioning machine to cross universes from scraps, and yet they went speechless at the fact that this Johnny hasn't met Taeyong yet. There has never been a universe where Taeyong is not in the picture yet. Even the Kim Doyoung, someone who possesses so much intelligence that he outsmarts everyone at the lab, stops talking for a hot minute. And perhaps it is the absurdity of the situation, perhaps it's just the stress and pressure of the last 23 universes coming back to him, but Johnny lets himself laugh. He laughs so hard that his belly hurts and there are tears streaming down his face.

"Johnny, you're okay?" Yuta's soft voice intrudes his brain.

"Yeah, it's just…" his sentence is being cut off by heavy breathing and loud giggles so much that it becomes incoherent. "I'm sorry, it's just… whoa, it's nice to laugh again. Anyway, do you guys have a plan?"

"Not really, but we'll try to come up with something. Don't worry, Johnny, you'll find Taeyong." There's an expertly concealed concern within Doyoung's voice that Johnny can always pick up. After all, they have been friends for years, they all have lived through heaven and hell.

"Well, if his calculation about the quantum frequency being aligned is not wrong, then I'm sure we'll have nothing to worry about, Doyoung. He'll come to me sooner or later. Mr. CEO here seems like a real loner, I think it's time for the universe to spice things up a little in his life." Johnny says to the empty room without any worries of being heard. It's two a.m. anyway, if he's a good CEO then his employees should have gone home already.

"I hope this one is a long stay, it would be very hard for Mr. CEO to fall in love and lose his love within a short time." Johnny almost trips on air at that. God, he hates Doyoung's blunt mouth so much.

"Don't remind me."

Turns out, Johnny's hunch hits the bullseye. After only getting a few hours of sleep, he arrives at the office right before anyone else because, apparently, Seo Youngho is on a whole other level of a workaholic. He has a lot of meetings, which Johnny hopes he has done well, even before lunch. He might not know a lot about shareholdings and hotel developments, but he knows how to charm people. When lunchtime comes, though, his phone rings. Zeus is written in big capitals on his phone screen.

"Hello?"

"Hello, Youngho." Johnny has to do a double take because he's expecting Jungwoo's voice, however, Doyoung's voice comes right out of the speaker.

"Doyoung?"

"Ah! You remember me! Anyway, Jungwoo is currently busy in the kitchen, so he asked me to call you and remind you to meet the new PA in your favorite restaurant? Is that correct, Woo?" Doyoung's voice is suddenly far from the speaker and then there's a distant soft voice answering him.

"Yes, sweetheart, thank you!" Only then Johnny's brain clicks upon the fact that Jungwoo has a fiancé of three years, Doyoung.

"That's all, bye Youngho, good luck with the new PA!" the call is cut off before Johnny could respond with anything.

Johnny is not sure where the location of his favorite restaurant is, but he trusts his driver to get him to the place unscathed and on time. It is called _Anavenetro_. Johnny doesn't understand what it means, but he does know that it's the best place to find rib steak and mash potatoes in the city. The restaurant is so crowded that he cannot see a single empty table, and as the bell above his head chimes, the delicious aroma of spices and various food attacks his olfactory receptors. There are a few waitresses that catch his eye and give him some acknowledging smiles and nods. Johnny pays back the same courtesy before roaming his eyes across the room, trying to find someone who would be his new PA. His eyes stop at the very familiar figure at the table in the back, at the very familiar serious expression and pouting lips, at the very familiar outrageous hair color, even though it never stays the same.

And just like every time he has lived through this, it happens again.

The feeling as if everything that surrounds him slows down, the low buzz of people chattering quiets down, the hasty movements of the waitress all around him cease to exist. There's a buzzing in his head; it almost feels like his head is being stuffed with cotton—he feels dizzy, is that the oxygen thinning or all of his blood just rushing to his brain altogether? Johnny is not sure, but his tunnel vision zooms in to the guy sitting alone on the table. He is wearing a dark blue suit; he has always looked amazing in blue. There's a pair of silver-framed glasses adorning his profile. His eyes are focused on the phone in front of him, fingers busily typing things that Johnny might never know. He looks beautiful— _well he has always looked beautiful, it really is no surprise_ , but with his hair being dyed grey and styled formally on the top of his head, Johnny thinks he looks breathtakingly beautiful, heartbreakingly mesmerizing.

Johnny hopes with all his might that Taeyong would be his new PA.

There's a smile playing on his lips— _Johnny doesn't know how long it will last_ —when he approaches the table, trying his hardest to hide his clammy palms with a confident front, after all, he's Taeyong's future CEO.

"Mr. Lee Taeyong?" the other guy looks up from his phone and pays his utmost focus on Johnny's face, there's a bright sparkle in his eyes.

 _Not his Taeyong_.

There's a reminder that keeps going on within his brain whenever he moved universes as if Johnny can ever forget where his Taeyong is right now.

 _Not his Taeyong_.

The obsidian orbs widen imperceptibly before finally blooming into two crescent moons right in front of Johnny. Always so kind, so fondly familiar.

 _Not his Taeyong. Not his Taeyong. Never his Taeyong_.

Perhaps this journey means nothing. Perhaps there's no exact point within the two years he has been moving around, jumping through multiple universes. Because what are they even doing, wasting all this time and energy, if at the end of the day Johnny's brain would still remind him about _his_ Taeyong? He wants to cry.

"Mr. Seo Youngho." There's a grin blooming on Taeyong's lips—it's bright and blinding, it feels familiar and yet so different from the smile he has familiarized himself with. It grips something within his chest, something painful, something aching. Johnny wonders if their first meeting has ever filled with so much pain. It has once— _in between shattered glasses, turned over car, and the smell of leaking gasoline, Johnny got himself a 30 second journey filled with whispered I love yous and reassuring smile before the face of the man he loved so much turned empty and hollow, then in the next second he woke up in another body, another universe._

"Mr. Youngho, are you okay?" there's a blatant concern underlying Taeyong's voice. Always so undeniably kind. Johnny's already fragile heart breaks even more. _Huh, perhaps he's not as stable as he would love to think._ Johnny forces himself to take a deep calming breath. This is a professional meeting, after all, he can't have his new PA running away from him on the first day. And so he slaps his most genuine smile intact before taking a seat in front of the love of his life— _the 24th rendition_.

"Yeah, just a long exhausting morning at the office. How are you, Mr. Lee?" And there it is, the same glint of delight he always exudes in the smallest detail of life. The same glint that can always lift Johnny's mood up. "Oh, and please, call me Johnny."

 _Happiness, Johnny. That's the point of this journey_ —the voice he had missed so much echoes in his brain, the voice from a long time ago, as Taeyong launches into a detailed story of himself while Johnny leans back on his seat, feeling content to just listen.

Sometimes he forgets how painful a loss can be when he's too used to the person beside him. Perhaps three weeks is objectively better than a whole nine months. Johnny doesn't move to a new universe the next morning like he usually does. Johnny wakes up with his head throbbing, with his heart, even more, aching—with his world in ruins, without the new prospect of starting again, of turning pages.

"Why am I still here?" his voice sounds awfully hoarse— _stone cold_.

"We don't know." Yuta's dejected voice is loud within his brain. "We've tried everything to move you on your sleep."

Johnny laughs—humorlessly, awfully hollow, "Do you think life has enough with me? We keep messing with it, and now it punishes me to stay here?"

"It would've done it within the first three weeks if that's the case." Doyoung scoffs before trailing into a hesitant silence. "The funeral is in three days, Johnny, come if we still can't move you." It's an order. Johnny doesn't give any response except a sharp intake of breath.

"Bossman, at least it's a beautiful nine months, right? I haven't seen you that happy for so long." Johnny almost smiles at Hyuck's statement. Perhaps he's not supposed to be happy this way. Perhaps he's supposed to be content with how his life is. Perhaps he should try to move on from _his_ death, instead of searching for his soulmate alternate substitute. It really is fucked up when you think about it like that. He closes his eyes when everything around him becomes too unbearable—when the space beside him remains empty and there is only silence creeping in the cracks of the wall, when all he can see is a memento of the past beautiful five months, when his brain keeps rewinding the accident.

"It's—" he chokes on his breathe, voice breaking, tears uncontrollably streaming from his closed eyes. "The traffic light was red, right?"

"Yes." the answer is small.

"Then why?" It must have been heartbreaking to hear the tremble within Johnny's voice. It's universe 24, isn't he supposed to be used to do this already?

"The driver was sleepy, Johnny. The road was slippery. It was inevitable." _Hollow eyes, track of tears, unrestrained leak of crimson_. Doyoung's voice is apologetic.

"He apologized." Johnny finally says in a small voice. It's accompanied by small sobs. "He picked up on the signs, he picked the smallest detail of the way I'm holding him too close, hugging him too tightly, kissing him as if I will lose him, and he understood." Johnny turns around to cry into his pillow. The sobs are getting louder within the confinement of the deafeningly silent room. "He apologized for making me worry too much. He apologized while bleeding out in the middle of a cold empty road."

"Johnny… It's not your fault…"

"Is it? Really?" And maybe Johnny's tone is too harsh, but he really doesn't care at the moment. "Do you think they might be happy?" He decides to ask away his crippling anxiety. "Do you think they'd live together and be happy together as a CEO and his PA if we didn't decide to mess up? If I didn't come?"

There's a heavy sigh on the other end of the line.

"Taeyong had predicted this Johnny, don't start doubting him after all this time," Doyoung says in his scary and to be obeyed tone.

"He might be wrong." There's a small pause until the gentle voice comes to Johnny's brain.

 _"Find me, Johnny. Help each other."_ Doyoung is not fair. The tears won't ever stop now. There's a weak pained cough from the voice Johnny had loved so much. Hollow eyes, track of tears, unrestrained leak of crimson, and the lab around them being engulfed in fire. _"I love you. Every single one of Lee Taeyong out there loves you, so find me. Be happy."_

Johnny attends Taeyong's funeral three days later. It's awfully empty and lonely.

_Lee Taeyong_

_(2009-2044)_

_A loving boyfriend._

_I was happy._

🌹

_It's too late, Johnny knows that he's running too slowly, but the shaking ground beneath his shoes is also not helping. The walls that surround him quake heavily as the fire finally reaches the flammable gasses and explodes. He changes his direction in a second, opting to go to the lab's lower ground instead of the fire source. Finding his fiancé seems like the best choice at the moment._

_"Johnny where are you going?" Mark's panic voice reaches his intercom._

_"Taeyong," he says without any explanations. "Mark, get out of the lab, take everyone out with you." He then continues in a more urgent manner, there's nothing more they can salvage from the lab or the experiment. It's better for them to just save themselves. Johnny can live with failing the biggest day of his life, he's not so sure he can live with anyone's blood on his hand._

_"What about you?"_

_"I'll get out after I fetch Taeyong, I promise."_

_"Johnny—" Mark sounds dejected. Johnny knows, he absolutely understands. He knows that once he fetches Taeyong they all would die either because of explosion or too much radiation. He knows that Taeyong is basically the only person that is keeping all the radiation and the dark matters and how many more dangerous substances from ever leaking out. He knows why Taeyong ordered everyone to stay put when he dashed to the lab ground. Because he is selfless like that. Because he would rather sacrifice himself than putting anyone else at risk. But Johnny is selfish. He is so very selfish and he'd rather die than leaves Taeyong behind._

_"Get everyone out, Mark." He says before cutting the communication line._

🌹

There's a dreadful feeling in his gut the next morning he wakes up. The air is musty, humid, and absolutely blanketed with heat. He wakes up to a strange vast room made out of wood. Observing all of his odd surroundings, it almost looks like a horse stall—well, without the horses.

He is very much disoriented with the unknown place his team has subjected him into, but most importantly with the way, there's a whole stack of hay under him. Only then he belatedly realizes the metal cuffs that are strapped to both of his ankles, preventing him from actually standing and moving. There's a big ass rusty chain that tied him to the wooden pole 2 meters away from his current position. What the actual fuck?

"Uh… guys?" He tries to reach out to the voices that are supposed to be guiding him. He looks down only to find that he's wearing a dirty and tattered clothing—clothing he only has seen in the historical drama, prisoners clothing.

"Okay, so we all know that we can't really control where you'll wake up the next day in what universe, right?" Mark's cautious voice fills his brain. Johnny hums in acknowledgment. "Yeah, well, you just woke up in some kind of Joseon era, I think, as a prisoner?" There's so much hesitation coloring his voice. "I'm not really sure, bossman, sorry."

Johnny takes another deep breath to calm himself. Never he'd imagined having so much stress in his life when he agreed to do this. "Okay, so I'm a prisoner in the Joseon era. What should we do?" He tries to move from his uncomfortable position, and only then he feels the sharp pain emitting from various points of his body. The whimper he lets out is basically inevitable.

"Why, what happened?" Yuta's voice is quick to his aid.

"I don't know, my body hurts all over." Right at that second, the door to the stall opens loudly, letting more sunlight to come into the humid room. Johnny has to squint his eyes in order to look at the figure coming closer to him. _They glow_ , is what registers first in Johnny's brain as the sun shines blindingly behind them. Then the door is closed in the next second and they are both plunged into a dimly lit room once again. After closer inspection, the stranger is apparently a man wearing a blue robe with intricate golden details. He's holding a white bowl of what Johnny assumes as water and a white cloth. His still muddled brain provides some vague information about how the blue robe is a royal hanbok—usually worn by someone in a high place, someone like The _Crown Prince._ That information jolts Johnny's body to move and bow instinctively, forgetting the fact that he's chained and is in pain, and ends up toppling over to the ground. The Crown Prince, blessed him really, looks shocked with Johnny's stupid antics and rushes forward when another whimper pushes past his lips.

"Are you okay?" That stops Johnny from moving his body back into the half sitting-half lying position he was sporting before. That stops Johnny, period—from moving, from breathing, from thinking. He has to make a conscious effort in calming his erratic heartbeat before looking up to take in the face of the figure in front of him. He never thought he would be allowed to hear that voice so soon after burying the same man yesterday with his own hand. He never thought that their next meeting would be like this, with him as a prisoner and the love of his life as the country's beloved crown prince. He hasn't even thought of Taeyong ever since he regained consciousness. And when he looks up, he really can't help but realize that Taeyong looks absolutely beautiful in hanbok as intricate as the one he's wearing. If only he can see this sight in other circumstances.

_"Jyani~" Johnny hums to the cute voice Taeyong is sporting. He usually wants something whenever he used it, something that Johnny can never refuse. "Bring me to Namsan this holiday, please?"_

_Johnny just smiles, "Anything you want, love." The small happy celebration dance Taeyong does only makes his grin grows wider. Johnny thinks he would ask him to visit the hanbok place they can use there. Johnny thinks he would look absolutely beautiful._

"Youngho? Are you okay? Youngho?" Taeyong's concern voice breaks him from his reverie. There are deft thumbs swiping the apple of his cheeks, removing any tracks of tears that Johnny doesn't realize he has let out.

"Yes, I'm okay," he says hesitantly, not really sure on what to call the man in front of him with. Nonetheless, Taeyong sends him a warm smile. There's an urgency that shines in his eyes,

"I thought I told you to call me Taeyong?" _Oh_ , so this is not their first time meeting. Johnny is not sure why he can barely access any memory from the prisoner.

"Ah, right, Taeyong, would you mind telling me again why am I here, chained to a wooden pole?" He plays it safe, but Taeyong still raises his eyebrows.

"Did they hit your head or something?" Johnny shrugs, his head has been pounding ever since he woke up, so he's not sure if he actually got a concussion or just dehydrated. Taeyong looks bashful before continuing, there's a red hue adoring his cheeks and ears. _Beautiful_. "They found us. I was being too loud, I'm sorry."

"What do you mean?"

Taeyong's deadpan expression challenges him, but he's not budging. He needs some answers. "Youngho, we slept together and I was being too loud and they found us. How could you forget?" There's a tinge of hurt underlying the statement.

"Oh my God…" Johnny can't help but laugh after the shock recedes. "Oh my God, Taeyong, what the hell?"

"Why are you laughing? Did they hit your head so hard, you go crazy? Is that it?" Taeyong hits him with the half wet cloth he brings. "Your life's on the line! They're going to execute you in three days!" Johnny's gaze softens when he sees the frustrated tears budding on Taeyong's eyes, and the laughter stops, replaced by another soft smile. Even on another universe, some hundreds hertz frequency away from his own Earth, the stress-crying habit still hadn’t changed. "I'm sorry." Taeyong hides his face in his hands at that, voice straining to hold back a sob. Youngho knows all the habit of a frustrated Lee Taeyong, knows all the ways to calm him down too. "I'm so sorry, I'd tried to negotiate with my father, but he wouldn't relent. You will be killed in three days, I'm so very sorry." The sobs finally overtake his small body. Johnny moves to sit straighter and closer to Taeyong despite the pain in his body. His fingers wrap themselves in Taeyong's thin wrists—they have always been so thin, Johnny is sometimes afraid to break him with his large hands—and pulls them away from his face. When Taeyong finally looks up, Johnny only smiles as he wipes the tears away. _God, he's so so beautiful, even with tears adorning his cheeks, he has always been the most beautiful man Johnny has ever witnessed._

"Don't cry, it's okay…"

"No, it's not okay."

"Taeyong," Johnny sighs, "Better me than you." and even he can hear the relief in his voice. Taeyong looks at him with sad, pitiful eyes, and Johnny's chest hurt so much. Taeyong should only wear happiness and childlike delight on his face. "So, tell me. Why am I being prosecuted?" Johnny grins, which brings a hesitant smile to the other's face.

"Well, other than deflowering the crown prince, it's because you're beautiful." The smaller looks at him with such fond eyes, Johnny just wants to hide and cry again. "You're so beautiful, Youngho." The statement is almost whispered to his skin with how close Taeyong is leaning forward. "Too beautiful, they think you're a witch who lures me into your trap." There's a spell that surrounds them, something that charged the air with a buzz of electricity, something that prevents Johnny from looking anywhere else but at the wide doe eyes in front of him.

"And what do you think?" he whispers, afraid of breaking the tense atmosphere. "What do you think of me?"

"If there is a word stronger than beautiful, I'd have used it on you. You're… immaculate." Johnny's heart beats so fast at the usage of his favorite word. He's so far from perfect, but he thinks he'd start to believe it if Taeyong's the one convincing him.

"Have they never looked at you before? Taeyong—" Johnny can only register the darkening blush on Taeyong's cheeks before his words are cut off by soft lips. And he remembers. He remembers the way the very same pair of lips had explored the planes of his torso the night before. He remembers the slight sting of his hair being pulled too hard as his own lips went on a quest, pulling any strings from the lithe body under him just to, once again, hear the beautiful litany of _please_ and _Youngho_. He remembers the way Taeyong went pliant as Johnny's pace didn't relent, as his hands didn't stop exploring, as his gaze didn't stray from the beautiful face that was absolutely high on pleasure. But Johnny also remembers so many other tastes of said same pair of lips. He remembers the aftertaste of vanilla lattes, of strawberry lip balm, of the oranges he loves so much, of strawberries and whipped cream, of candies, of sickness and hospital antiseptic, of so many other tastes of Lee Taeyong. Right now, Taeyong's lips taste awfully like desperate feelings —it tastes like somewhere between deep affection and love.

Johnny keeps his eyes closed even after Taeyong pulls back, only opening them after he wipes another batch of tears. "Please stop crying." He smiles at the plea on Taeyong's voice. His heart aches so much, it's hard to not cry. God, he really loves this man.

"I saw a man so beautiful, I cried." The taller grins as Taeyong ducks his head, hiding his face in Johnny's chest, hands playfully hitting the other.

"I swear to God, stop it or I will—"

"You will what?" Johnny challenges.

"I'd go back to the palace and leave you with your bruises!"

Johnny grins, "No, you won't."

And Taeyong sighs dejectedly, "No, I won't. You're lucky I like you."

"Only like?" Johnny pulls the pout which makes Taeyong glares at him. A spray of water hits his face from Taeyong fingers.

"Shut up!" But Johnny can see the deepening red hue and the hidden smile. He hopes three days would be enough for Taeyong to prepare himself.

Three days are enough. Three days are enough for Taeyong to come up with a whole plan to save Johnny. He wants to hit himself for not expecting anything when Taeyong walked into the ground where he'd be executed. Johnny was tied up on a pole, and he didn't suspect anything. God, he can't believe he has underestimated the extent of Taeyong's emotions. Taeyong is probably the most loving man he had the luck to ever meet. He loves so ferociously, every single person in his life has always been held so close to his heart. Johnny should have expected that he would pull something like this, that he would do anything to save Johnny because he loves Johnny, including sacrificing himself. After all, this is not the first time he has done it.

And as Taeyong stood defiantly in front of the King, Johnny's heart can only quake in fear. "What if I can prove that he is not a witch, my King?"

"And how would you even do that?"

There was a glint in Taeyong's eyes, a dangerous glint that usually ends up with Johnny's misery—it was there when Johnny's hair ended up being blond years ago, it was there when Johnny ended up paying a celebratory dinner for the entire lab, it was there when Taeyong ran to the lab's ground floor, it was there tonight. It was there when suddenly there was an arrow slotted into Taeyong's abdomen. Everyone was so shocked, even the king instinctively stood up from his throne. Johnny heard a pained scream in a distance, before registering that it was his own scream. And then there's a grin on Taeyong's face, white teeth tainted with red, some even trailed from the corner of his mouth. Johnny had fought to break away from the rope that kept him in place.

"If Youngho is a witch as all of you had believed in, he'd be able to cure me. I bet my life on his innocence." Johnny stopped moving when Taeyong looked at him. There was a proud glint in his eyes, a damn relieved smile on his bloody mouth. He almost fell to his knees when he was released from his rope, but he forced himself to run as Taeyong's body fell limp to the floor. Johnny caught him, and they were back to square one.

 _Hollow eyes, track of tears, unrestrained leak of crimson_.

Now that Taeyong is safe on his lap, his hands can't help but tremble. How many times does he have to go through this? How many times does he have to lose the love of his life? He touches the arrow with trepidation.

"Why? Taeyong, why?" His voice breaks as he looks at the blood that keeps flowing to the floor in a small amount.

"Because you're not a witch, you don't deserve to die." The younger takes a sharp intake of breath. It sounds painful and Johnny whimpers. "Even if you're a witch, you don't deserve to die. Better me than you." And Johnny cries at that—not the sobbing kind, not the kind that he can hold back. There's a guttural sound of pain coming from the back of his throat because this is painful, too painful for him. But Taeyong is always so kind, always so terribly kind.

"Youngho, breathe, it's okay…"

"No, it's not okay! Lee Taeyong, there's nothing in this situation that is okay!" He yells and flinches at the soft smile Taeyong sends him.

" _Please_ , young man, please, save my boy! Please, I ask you to save my boy." The King's pleas interrupt the atmosphere and Johnny glares at him. This is not the time.

"I am not a witch."

"You filthy peasant, you who dared to touch my boy, I order you to save him, you bastard!"

"Your Majesty, with all due respect I am not a fucking witch!" Johnny growled menacingly before focusing his attention solely on a bleeding Taeyong. He doesn't have time for this. "Taeyong, look at me, we can save you, yeah? We just have to pull this out and stitch you up, okay? You'll be okay—"

"Youngho," Taeyong cuts his rambling. "Youngho, it's okay. I want to leave anyway; I have never liked it here."

Johnny's whole body is shaken by a guttural sob, "Please, _please_ , don't leave me again."

"Youngho…" It sounds weaker and Johnny can only grip the dainty fingers harder, holding on for dear life—his life, Taeyong's life, anything to keep the both of them here. "Youngho, look at me. I love you. Promise me that you'll find me in our next life." A gush of blood comes out from his mouth. He almost chokes, trying to deliver his next sentence. "I promise I'll love you in every single lifetime, so find me, please." There's clear desperation in Taeyong's voice. Johnny's chest hurts so much, everything hits too close to home. It's like reliving that last night again. The tears are not diminishing either.

"I promise, God, I promise you. I love you too. I love you so much."

"Youngho…" Another cough of blood, "Youngho, I think it ruptured my lungs, I can—I can't breathe." Johnny never thinks that a picture of the love of his life choking on his own blood would be embedded into his brain forever, but here they are. The King is still lamenting the fact that he'd lose his own son. The kingdom is probably in shambles, watching the two star-crossed lovers bleeding and crying on the ground, witnessing the death of their only Crown Prince.

"God," Johnny whimpers, he is not sure why on earth he's still conscious despite all the stress he has been put under in the last hour. And when Taeyong's grip on his hand finally loosens, he calls out for help. "Doyoung, please, _please_!" He doesn't look down, doesn't want to see another hollow eyes in his life. He just wants to get away from the situation or pass out, whichever comes first. Anything is better than this nightmare.

🌹

_Johnny finds Taeyong already lying on the floor as he stops in front of the particle accelerator. There's a small pool of blood on the white floor, other debris and chunks of metal also cover the rest of the room. The younger scoffs weakly, straining his neck to see Johnny._

_"Careful, the explosion kinda blew this room also." He says with a small smile as Johnny kneels carefully beside him. He just realizes how bad his body is shaking as Taeyong takes hold of his hand and interlocks their fingers together. "Are they safe?"_

_Johnny has to swallow past the lump in his throat twice before his vocal cord is cooperating, "Yeah, I asked Mark to get them out."_

_Taeyong smiles at that before closing his eyes. "Good."_

_There's a peaceful expression on his face that makes Johnny wonder if he's not in pain._

_"Let's get you out too, yeah?" He hopes. He prays to any deity up there to let Taeyong say yes._

_"No, can't do." Johnny sighs. He knows. Taeyong's grip on his hand is only getting tighter, forcing Johnny to look at him. His face just keeps getting paler as the droplets of blood freely flow from his wound like a water faucet. But there's a determination lighting the dark eyes that Johnny loves so much. "This room will explode so I need you to listen to me, listen to every single word I say, okay?" Johnny nods. It's not enough. "Answer me."_

_"Okay."_

_"Remember the quantum theory? The one where the worlds are aligned from the start, and how we are all connected, no matter what's the frequency, no matter where we came from? Soulmate and whatnot." There's a cough that is followed by a gush of blood._

_"Yes."_

_"Johnny, it's true." Taeyong's other hand slips something into Johnny's fist, something metal. A drive. "I have proofs and calculations, and everything you need in there because Johnny, Jyani, Johnny Suh, Seo Youngho, my one and only Johnny Suh, we… are aligned." There are tears cascading down Taeyong's sharp cheekbones, there's a whole lot of love shining from his gaze, so much that Johnny wants to choke on air._

_"The next few years will be hard, so I'm giving you a mission. Something to occupy your mind from my death, okay?" Johnny nods because at this point he can't do anything but to follow what Taeyong wants. Anything, he'll give Taeyong anything and everything as long as he is happy. "There's always a fallacy in the universe, Youngho. We are aligned and our lives are written long before we're here… And I will die. Again and again, before you, in every universe, because that's how life wants us to be. But it always has a fallacy. Find it." There's clear desperation in Taeyong's voice and Johnny's entire being aches._

_"Find me, Johnny. Help each other." There's a weak pained cough from the voice Johnny had loved so much_ _—the voice that he will miss so much. "I love you. Every single one of Lee Taeyong out there loves you, so find me. Be happy."_

_Johnny chokes on a sob as the clench inside his chest tightens—too tight, he can't breathe. "I love you, Taeyong, I love you too, so much." He cries into his hands that are being held by Taeyong's smaller one, his head is being cradled by dainty fingers that claim it as their home. Even when he's dying, he still tries to console Johnny's feelings, and the taller can't help but sob harder._

_Johnny feels it more than he hears it. A rumble on Taeyong's chest as he says his last sentence. "I know." But Johnny hears it, the way Taeyong's heart stutters in his chest, a trip in the beat before it's finally stopping. His hand goes limp in Johnny's hair, and when he finally has the courage to look up, he is met with the image that would be ingrained into his brain forever. Hollow eyes, track of tears, unrestrained leak of crimson, and the lab around them being engulfed in fire._

🌹

Johnny wakes up screaming to a really dark room. He doesn't have any more energy to look around and figure out where he is or who he is. He doesn't even have any energy to cry, but the tears and the sobs won't stop coming. He buries his face into his palms and lets out everything he has been holding inside—all the stress, the turmoil, the pain, everything that he has locked away for the past two years. It's the kind of crying that you can't hold back—the kind that he can't hold back. It's loud, and ugly, and makes your chest feel so tight that you can't breathe properly. Johnny can barely do anything besides letting all the sobs and the shudders rampage through his body. He can barely register his name being called, first confusedly, then second with concerns. He doesn't feel the added weight to the bed, the dip on the small empty space beside him now occupied. He doesn't register the soft murmur of a soothing voice, but also one that is laced with utmost concern. His body is currently on an autopilot mode, but he feels a pair of hands that encircles his shoulders, the firm strength that forces him to lean onto the hard planes of one's chest. And Johnny doesn't fight it because whoever is trapping him between arms and chest feels so familiar, because the embrace feels so familiar, smells so familiar. _Coconut_. And Johnny's chest pangs at the information, but he's glad his brain currently doesn't have the capability to think. The embrace feels a lot like being encapsulated in a warm and safe bubble. For once Johnny feels safe. It feels like there's nothing that can hurt him anymore. As long as he stays within this embrace, he's safe. And so he stays, he cries and he stays within the embrace until he can't cry anymore. And even when he stops crying, the arms don't let him go. The last thing Johnny can think of before the slumber takes him back is how it feels a lot like coming home.

"I love you."

"Please _stay_."

"I'm here. I'll still be here in the morning."

🌹

_Johnny gets out of the building with a body in his arms, carried bridal style as if he doesn't weight a pound. The perimeters are already filled with ambulances and paramedics, all the cameras and journalists were already banned with the danger of explosion and radiation from the lab. Once he's out from the metal fences, two paramedics try to pull Taeyong away, perhaps helping Johnny from lifting the lifeless body, but he's not having any of it. His fingers grip the body closer to him, as if to protect his other half from prying eyes, and keeps walking until he reaches the ambulance where Mark and Hyuck are seated. Johnny realizes they are covered in blankets and are being scanned for their level of radiation. He's sure the result would be low; Taeyong has—had made sure of it. Two pairs of wide eyes follow his figure as he lays Taeyong on the stretcher. And then Johnny sits on the side, doesn't even bother to meet any eyes that have been following his movement._

_"Johnny?" Mark's voice trembles. Johnny thinks it's because of fear. He hums, eyes not moving from the cold body of his lover._

_"Taeyong hyung—" It's Hyuck's voice now. He doesn't know what makes Hyuck stop in the middle of his sentence. He doesn't know why Hyuck suddenly gasps as if he's in so much pain. He doesn't know why they come to each of his sides and hold on tight for their life—perhaps it's the new batch of tears on Johnny's cheeks. Now he has two 20 years old brilliant kids crying into his shoulders, and he can't really do anything besides giving them tight squeezes—a reassurance that he's still here._

_"I'm sorry I couldn’t get him out ali—"_

_"Don't apologize." Mark cuts him sternly before choking on a sob._

_"Okay…" Johnny closes his eyes, letting the rest of the world around him to blur and swirl into darkness. There's a muffled rumble from a distance, something that sounds a lot like a big explosion, but Johnny drowns it all out, focusing only on the two sources of warmth beside him. Both of his thumbs are drawing soothing circles into the thighs of two crying teenagers, trying to give them consolation in his exhausted state. It's good though, now that he can't feel anything else, he can focus on the task at hand practically._

🌹

Johnny feels it before he can open his eyes—the sheer lightness of his heart. He almost wants to laugh for he has never felt this light in days, months, _years_.

"You're good, boss man?" Johnny grins at Hyuck's voice.

"Yeah. Go get some rest, Hyuck, you sound tired—" and then there's a pillow smacking his face.

"Shut the fuck up, Johnny, we have to be up in three hours." Johnny winces at the irritated tone in the voice. His brain provides him with a name, Sehun. Hyuck chuckles on the other end of the line.

"Apparently you're a trainee. Moving straight to Korea from Chicago to be a Korean idol." Hyuck whistles at that. "Never knew you could sing or dance, Hyung, but yeah, you have been a trainee for two years since 2008."

"Where's the rest?" Johnny whispers.

"Sleeping. The Joseon era took a toll on your vitals and, therefore, took a toll on all of us too. It was a rough night." Johnny frowns at that.

"You should sleep too. I'm okay now."

"Okay, I will. You, too, catch some sleep, Hyung. I heard the trainee life is tiring as fuck. You'll need all the rest."

"Good night, Hyuck."

"Night, Johnny hyung."

🌹

_"You see this?" Johnny eyes the small white chip on Doyoung's fingers. A year after Taeyong's death, Johnny had sought out for Doyoung's help. He and his boyfriend, Yuta, had agreed. Partly because it was Taeyong's last wish and partly because it might be a groundbreaking invention. And so in the span of three years, they have built the multiverse warp machine. Doyoung loves to call it Gabriel for reasons Johnny doesn't even want to know._

_"This will go into your brain before you go into Gabriel, okay?"_

_"Please stop calling it with a human name." Johnny sighs exasperatedly when Doyoung lets out a scandalized gasp._

_"How could you? That's my baby!" The taller just rolls his eyes. "Anyway this chip is important because this is your only way to communicate with us. It will change its frequency into whatever universe Gabriel has sent you to. And it's our only camera to your brain activities and your vitals. If you need help, say something. If you feel like you're going to die, say the word. If you want to jump into another universe, say it. We're not psychic. Understood?"_

_"Yes. One question, though, how are you going to put that into my head?"_

_"Oh Johnny, my boyfriend is the best brain surgeon in Korea. Why do you think I recruited him into my lab after he got his Ph.D.?"_

_Johnny's eyes widened in disbelief, "I can't believe you used him like that!"_

_"Hey! I recruited him first before he became my boyfriend. It's true love, what's between us."_

_"Awh babe, never knew you loved me that much! I love you too." A grinning Yuta shows up before Doyoung, stealing a kiss from his cheek. Doyoung just rolls his eyes. "You're ready, Johnny boy?"_

_"Just don't kill me."_

_"Don't worry, you'll meet your true love again."_

🌹

Hyuck is right. The life of a trainee is not easy at all. Johnny doesn't think he has ever felt so tired physically before. There's a persistent pressure at the back of his mind that he has to be here, that he has to fight to debut because he won't accept anything less. He belatedly realized how much drive this Johnny Suh has to achieve his dream as an idol, and Johnny can't do anything besides following that dream. After all, it feels cathartic to be so physically tired he can't think of anything else, that he can't stop to think about his life—about Taeyong, whom he hasn't met yet in this universe, even though he has been here for 10 months.

Sometimes at night, when he couldn't sleep despite his tired body, he would think about it. About how he feels comfortable in this universe—too comfortable that he sometimes forgets that it's not his. The voices of his friends, asking for his condition, remind him of their existence. He would think about how he doesn't feel empty like he had in the other universes—he wonders if it's because he doesn't have Taeyong in this universe yet. After all, people don't miss what they don't have. He kept being reminded of Taeyong's existence in the other universe, but here? Here he feels quite content with what he has. It's as if he can move forward, with his dreams, and the boys around him that takes care of him quite well— _without Taeyong_. Sure, it feels lonely sometimes, but it's bearable. The pain in his chest doesn't flare like he's going to die. The air does not suffocate him. Here he's just Johnny Suh, an idol in the making.

"What are you thinking so hard about?" Johnny looks up to find Sehun offering him a water bottle before sitting beside him in the practice studio, an odd wall painted with clouds and the sky behind them. Johnny shrugs.

"Just life."

"You're thinking about debuting?"

"Nah, it's just," Johnny stops, "it's stupid." But Sehun's eyes coax him to continue. Always being a good friend. "Love, I'm thinking about love." Well, that makes the older barks out a laugh, attracting others' attention.

"Yah! You're a baby!" Johnny frowns at that. Theoretically, he's older than every single one of them.

"What is this about?" Chanyeol sits in front of them with a smirk, while gathering the other to join. Johnny groans.

"Hyung!" He whines.

"Our baby was thinking so hard about love! Damn Johnny, I'd rather worry about debuting."

"But like, you know, just think about it! It's a part of life, after all."

"Okay, what were you thinking about?" Yixing pipes up.

Johnny gulps before answering. "What if, hypothetically, you love someone and this someone leaves you, but you have the chance to, I don't know, meet the same person in a parallel universe. Would you date them again?"

"A part of life, my ass, that doesn't even make sense!" Jongin has to lean to Junmyeon in order to save himself from falling for laughing too loud. "But!" he continues after wiping a few tears. "Hypothetically, I wouldn't do that, especially if I'm not over the first person."

"I agree!" Chanyeol raises his hand up. "Parallel universe or not, I think they're still different people, with a different entity, with different identities and ways of thinking. If you can't love them because of them, if you love them because they are a mirror of your first love, then…"

"That's kinda fucked up, isn't it?" Sehun continues.

_Not his Taeyong._

"Johnny, our baby maknae, I'd smack your head with a pan if you ever do that to a person. Parallel universe or not. Now get up, we still have half an hour to practice, love can wait until you're allowed to marry someone by the entertainment." Junmyeon says as he stands up, walking away to their speaker.

🌹

_"You're ready to meet him again?" Mark asks._

_"Not really, but I'm excited."_

_"Okay, we'll transfer you in the count of ten. If this fails—"_

_"It's not going to fail. I designed Gabriel." Doyoung rolls his eyes, before pushing the red button. Johnny's eyes widen._

_"I thought we're going to count from 10!"_

_"Too long, go get the love of your life, Johnny boy!"_

_And then in the next second, he is warped through matter._

_And when he opens his eyes, he's in a class, with a soft pink haired boy sitting beside him, attentively listening to the teacher. Lee Taeyong._

🌹

Johnny feels like his world crumbles right before his eyes as they announce the lineup for SM's new boy group, called EXO. His name is not in it. He has felt his world crumbling before him in so many ways, but this one hits differently. He fails this universe Johnny's dream, the one that has been fought so hard for. He doesn't cry. He doesn't think he has any more tears to cry. Chanyeol's hand squeezes his thigh in reassurance under the table, an act he's so grateful for.

That night they gather in a circle for each other—mostly for Johnny.

"Don't give up. Johnny, stay here, stay for a while. They have a plan for you, I swear." Johnny smiles bitterly at that.

"If you haven't noticed, they have no more trainees besides me."

The hug Sehun gives him is a tight one.

"Don't give up. You've worked too hard to stop now. Remember, be a good person first and foremost, before anything, before your dream. You'll succeed in life."

🌹

 _Soft pink haired Taeyong is found dead in an alley behind their school two days later. Johnny holds him tight through the blood that soaks his white uniform. And then the cycle repeats_.

🌹

"Doyoung…" Johnny says through his labored breathing. His chest rapidly moves to gulp some air, as he lies down and stares at the ceiling of the practice room. Doyoung hums. "How long have I been here?"

"Almost two years."

"Do you miss me?" That results in a quite long pause.

"What do you mean?"

"You haven't seen me for four years, I haven't seen you for four years. Don't you miss me?" Johnny pouts.

"I miss you!" Mark's excited voice carries over through the chip. Johnny laughs.

"I miss you too, Mark."

"Mark, shut up. Johnny, what are you planning?" Doyoung's voice is now irritated.

"I think this is the one. This is the universe Taeyong meant."

"How do you know?"

"Remember our hypothesis? Because I had always arrived in some convenient time when Taeyong's death will happen in the near foreseeable future, therefore, the longer I stay in one universe, the slimmer chance I get to see Taeyong's dying in my arms. It has been two years and I still haven't met him. And, God, I am so content with my life here, you have no idea."

"You do seem content." Doyoung's voice is a bit hesitant. " _Not happy_ , but content enough." Johnny laughs at that.

"Well, my happiness only lies with him."

"Okay hold up, boss man, what does this have to do with us missing you?" Hyuck's impatient voice cuts Johnny's laugh.

"Well, what do you think about stopping?"

The silent is even longer this time.

"You do realize we have wasted four years of our life to do this, right?" Doyoung's seething voice sounds so dangerous right now.

"But it means you have more accurate proof that multiverse exists, and that we can access it, Doie!"

"Don't fucking _Doie_ me, Johnny Suh! This whole project is about you and your happiness with Taeyong! I'm gonna eat your kneecaps if you give up now."

"What if I'm not?” Johnny takes a leap of courage, “What if I’m not happy? Because, Doie, I don't think I will be happy." There's a longing in Johnny's voice—a ferocious longing.

"Elaborate."

"He asked me to find the fallacy in the universe and heal and be happy. Doyoung, I have found the fallacy, right here, and I have healed.” The silence on the other end is heavy, challenging. “ _I know_ I have healed, but I love him too much to ever be happy living with his doppelgangers. It kept blaring in my brain, every time I met his new rendition, 26 times, how every single one of them is not him— _not my Taeyong_. And what's the point, Doyoung? Sure, I love every single one of them because they're Taeyong, but they're not my Taeyong, they're not _him_. I don't think I will ever be happy with that."

"So what do you propose? What will make you happy?" Yuta's gentle voice calms his erratic heart. If he can't appeal his case to Doyoung, he won't ever get out of this.

"What if we stop, and then I'll come back? I'll be with you guys, you'll have your proofs, and I'll rebuild my life. How does that sound?" The silence prolongs, but there’s a tinge of relief in the air. His heart feels lighter.

"That sounds genuinely nice, Johnny hyung." Hyuck's voice sounds a little bit wobbly. "Our lab has been rebuilt; we can go back and do more experiments, yeah? But only if you're up for it."

"Are you okay? Genuinely okay with this?" Doyoung sounds hesitant.

"I am. Being with Taeyong has felt more painful than happy. I have genuinely felt okay here, better than when I am with him, constantly being reminded of what I have lost and will lose again. I can move on. Perhaps when the time comes I will meet him again in the afterlife." The chuckles that Doyoung lets out sound shaky.

"He'll probably smack you for not going through with this."

"He will. He'll probably also cry, but it will be okay because we're together again. So, you agree with this?" there’s an optimist tone in his voice, a lighter, more cheery vibe around him.

"Yeah, okay. Your happiness comes first, Johnny. Always." Johnny grins, he can't wait to meet his friends again. It has felt lonely being alone in the dorm for a year.

"Just wait for a couple more days, okay? I can feel him coming. I want to see him for the last time."

🌹

_"Be happy."_

🌹

"Johnny!" The manager that is in charge of keeping a tab on him pops his head into the practice room. Johnny turns off the music and follows him out.

"Yeah, hyung?"

"So, this is a new trainee. His name is Lee Taeyong, please take care of him. Get him used to all this." Johnny's eyes focus on the skinny boy beside the manager, eyes taking in the face he hasn't seen for two years. He's beautiful, always so _beautiful_ with a pair of wide doe eyes, thin lips, and sharp angular face. Taeyong looks shy and hesitant as he bows to introduce his name. Johnny stops him though. There’s laughter on the tip of his tongue. His hands are on the boy's shoulders, preventing him from bowing down, from looking away. And then Johnny grins — _a little bit soft, a little bit full of admiration, absolutely filled to the brim with love_. His heart still jumps on his chest whenever he stares at the beautiful face. God, even after all this time, he's still so into him. Taeyong jumps at the sudden contact.

"There's no need to bow, we were born in the same year. Hi, Taeyong, I'm Seo Youngho or Johnny Suh. Johnny for short." Johnny's grin only widens, his erratic heartbeat finally settles when Taeyong offers him a relieved smile— _a little bit soft, a little bit hesitant, absolutely filled to the brim with an offer of friendship._

“Jyani?” The foreign name might sound odd coming from Taeyong, but all Johnny can hear is the familiar endearment. It’s sounds hesitant, but warm nonetheless. Johnny has missed it.

 _That's him. He's the one_.

He knows how dangerous it is to plant an idea in the mind of his host, but Johnny can't help himself. If Taeyong's soulmate theory is true, then he needs trainee Johnny to understand how important Taeyong is in his life.

_Cherish him, Johnny. Don't ever let him go._

There. Now he can go.

🌹

"Hyung, you're ready?" Mark grins from his station. Johnny shakes his head.

"Not really, what if we repeat what happened five years ago?" That earns him a smack in the head.

"Johnny Suh, I told you, as long as you have me, you're not gonna fail. If you insult me once again, I'll smack you with this champagne bottle." Doyoung threatens. "After all, you only failed because someone tricked you with a cheap spare part that you installed in your machine."

Yuta grins from the other side of the room, "The guy will be dead if my husband finds him." Johnny shudders at that.

"I don't doubt that. Okay Mark, on the count of ten." Hyuck rolls his eyes before pushing the power lever.

"Sorry, boss man, too long."

Doyoung grins, "That's my child."

"Not your child! I have his custody!"

"For fuck's sake, shut up, I'm an adult!" Hyuck's voice is loud, and Johnny knows it's because he's nervous.

"It's propelled. They're propelled on maximum speed." Johnny waits nervously as the big screen in front of him shows their progress. _70%. 80%. 90%._ Mark is busy muttering the number until Hyuck smacks him in the head, though Johnny can see his fingers also tremble. _100%_.

_The process is complete._

_The particle accelerator is shut down._

_The element is successfully created._

_Elements acquired: Tachyons._

Doyoung's AI reports back as Doyoung cheers in celebration. Hyuck and Mark hug each other, before beaming at Johnny. They did it. Yuta forces a glass of champagne onto his hands, while Doyoung pours the rest into other glasses for the rest of the staff. They have done well.

"This is for _him._ " Doyoung raises his glass and Johnny smiles. "And for them." There are a lot of confused stares being directed at them, Doyoung just smiles.

"Gabriel, show me universe N127." And then suddenly the widescreen shows a dorm filled with twelve people, some of them he doesn't recognize. Yuta, Mark, Doyoung, Hyuck, and the rest of the strangers are busy with themselves in the living room. At the back he can see Johnny and Taeyong, huddled together, laughing as they make some food.

"And for you, Johnny." Doyoung raises his glass towards him as he smiles at the screen. Looking around, he realizes that this is the closest he can feel towards happiness. He's content. His heart is so very content with his life. Being surrounded by his friends, seeing the universe where Taeyong and Johnny can be happy together for as long as they need, and the feeling of pride after finally finishing what they were supposed to five years ago. Taeyong's not here, but Johnny knows that if he is, he'll be so damn proud. He'll probably beam so wide at Johnny before downing the champagne in one gulp— _Rosé, his favorite_.

 _"Be happy."_ the gentle voice echoes in his brain, and he finally comes up with an answer. _I will, one day when I see you again._ He'll get there, eventually. Love is not cruel. She is too vast and colossal to be cruel. Johnny understands now.

And so Johnny raises his glass.

_For you, Lee Taeyong._

_For us, my love._

**Author's Note:**

> find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/seohyuckie)


End file.
